Monday, 7 September 2015

Where I have been.

Hey, remember me?  I have a blog I haven't updated in ages.  I think about it sometimes, like oh I *should* write about something.  There are many somethings these days!

You may have heard, I started a store called Mutual Muse.  I don't know what I was thinking with this business starting, I have never been a person who thought I could do something like that.  But I DID, and it's amazing.  The door to the roof of my mind has been shoved open and now there is a whole great world of sky and clouds and beautiful colourful birds existing over what I thought was possible.

I think I need to talk about this business having and what that's like as a person with social anxiety.  I have never shied away from admitting that I am someone who likes to live inside my head and that sometimes this can be a difficult thing to deal with.  I find myself feeling so FULL of emotions these days that my insides feel like they are vibrating with the possibilities of everything I can accomplish.

I have always wanted to be a person who was normal.  I don't even know what "normal" means, maybe a woman who can be satisfied staying at home with my babies (that I have grown in my body), making beautiful healthy meals and maintaining a clean countertop.  Maybe I would have a "job" in this normal life where I blended in with the other employees and felt happy and quiet and went home at the end of the day and left work at work.  Well, I can tell you I know and love many women like this but I don't think its a life that's for me.  I was out with friends having a jolly wine-filled evening, rambling about this when one of them said to me more or less, "You know Kirsta, maybe you aren't a normal person. You don't seem like one to me, and that's ok."  MIND BLOWN.

Instead of this "normal" life, I have pushed and kicked and climbed my way to something much bigger than myself.  I own a store where I get to play with clothes and meet amazing women who maybe like me are a little weird too.  OMG AND DID YOU KNOW I MAKE A LIVING OFF OF IT TOO????  I didn't know I was allowed.  I don't think I was ever a very excellent employee anyway.

So, I'm going to talk about all the things I've learned/am learning, what we are up to as a family, and what it all means.  I'm back in this space and I'm going to write more because it feels good and necessary.  It may be a little irreverent from time to time. Hopefully I will help a few others feel less alone along the way.


  1. I feel less alone by just seeing your picture. Bster and Seth did family interviews for homework this weekend and one of the things I was asked was how I felt about middle school when I was there. Even waaaaay back then I never felt like I fit in very well. I think out of all of you, Bennet may have the best shot at feeling like he belongs. Maybe.

    1. Well in a family of misfits, maybe he will be the well-adjusted black sheep :)