Wednesday, 4 May 2016

Everything is Messy

I spent two hours cleaning last night while Alec was out at a work thing and when I woke up this morning it was all messy again.  There is always a pile of something somewhere, a secret stash of coloured pencils hidden under a couch cushion, or a smell emanating from the back of the fridge.  
Being on time for anything is always three minutes outside of my grasp.  I crave order in my life yet seem incapable of establishing it.  

The abundance of mess seems to be an indication of the abundance of life.  The more I put on my plate, the more opportunities present themselves to me.  I feel vulnerable everyday and the universe reciprocates with more love and more tests.  Work is exploding with gifts of creative expression, new opportunities, and money.  I want to do everything all at once, right now.  Someone asked me the other day if where I am now is what I imagined for myself a year ago, I said it was better than I could have possibly hoped for.  It's better because it's not a dream, it's real and it's mine and I made it for myself.

Maybe the only order is the chaos and the inevitability of expansion and contraction.  And love, there is so much love to be had in life when we make space for it.  Instead of cleaning, I will go take a nap.

1 comment:

  1. Those pictures are so fun, Kirsta! Your little girl looks so much like the you I have seen pictures of at that age! I wish we could visit and add to the loving mess.